but the good kind

Welcome to Self-ish Sundays, a blog that will take you on a journey where you will learn how to be alone and really enjoy your own company! 

Why Self-ish? And not selfish. 

Well, I think the word selfish gets a bad rap. The word itself has developed a negative connotation over time. Anyone that is “selfish” only cares about themselves and has no regard for others. While this may be true for some people, personally, I believe you can be selfish, but not at the expense of others. I chose to add a little dash in the middle to soften the harshness of the word, highlighting the most important part, the self. I want people to read it as "self-ishhh" in a sense that it is still selfish, but the good kind.

Selfish Vs. Selfless

When you type the word “selfish” into google, the definition is "lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure," versus “selfless” which is described as being, "concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own." Harsh...this makes me feel like if you are selfish, you only care about yourself and no one else and if you are selfless, you would do anything and everything for anyone, but yourself. Are you allowed to be anything in between? And if so, what word would best describe this? 

Self-ish, but the good kind

YES. It is okay to be self-ish; to do things for yourself, to put yourself and your own needs first. Why? Because at the end of the day, who will always be there for you? YOU. You are your own best friend, protector, and #1 cheerleader. Being self-ish does not make you a bad person and it does not mean that you don’t care for others. I don't know about you, but growing up, I always put everyone before myself and to be completely honest, it took quite a toll on my well being. I was walked all over and disrespected day after day and I continued to be runner-up in my own mind. Over the past few years, college has taught me that I truly need to put myself first and do what is best for me, the rest will eventually fall in place. Of course, I still care about the amazing people in my life and will do anything for them, but I am finally trying to focus more on myself and my own needs. AND THIS IS OKAY! 

What does Sunday have to do with anything?

 The other day, I was making a list of things that brought me happiness and peace and believe it or not, Sundays were high up on my list. I have always viewed Sunday as the day of the week where I could focus on myself; grocery shopping, meal prepping, scheduling out my week, straightening up my apartment, you name it. All things that help me de-stress and prepare for a successful week. Something about waking up at a decent hour, having a cup of coffee or maybe a tea and taking advantage of the day ahead, just brings me joy and serenity. I know how I feel about my Sundays, but I was curious as to what other people felt about theirs, so I tossed it into the one and only “urban dictionary.” To my surprise, just like the word “selfish,” the word “Sunday” also seems to have developed a bad reputation. For most people, it’s a brutal reminder that Monday is just around the corner and it’s back to the grind; back to school, back to work, and back to everything you put off until the next day. And now it’s the next day. And you are deeply regretting your night out and your procrastination, leaving you in bed with the Sunday scaries and no motivation to accomplish anything.

Which day is yours?

I have chosen Sunday to be the one day each week where I intentionally get out of my comfort zone, focus solely on myself and do what I want to do. That means taking myself to breakfast, enjoying a solo pool day, or having a glass of wine on the beach while watching the sun set. I want to push myself to do things I normally wouldn’t do unless I was with at least one other person. What day of the week is your favorite? What day will you devote to yourself and your own needs? 

Join me!!

First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my first post as a blogger. I have been thinking about this moment for a while now and I am beyond excited that I have finally taken the step to get this started. I hope this blog resonates with you and inspires you. Join me on a journey out of loneliness and into a world of happiness and contentment with being alone.

-Shelby Stams